Q: I have some really bad negative beliefs that I think are setting me up for failure. I always start on a new diet or exercise plan with the intent that this time things will be different, but somehow deep down, I don’t believe it. I expect myself to fail and then of course, I do! It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. How can I fix this?
A: First of all, let me say that you are not alone. I think that for so many of us, we’ve tried so many different diet plans over the years in an attempt to lose weight and get healthy and yet none of them turn out to be a permanent change. It gets very frustrating and disappointing.
Fortunately, there are a few things that can help. The key however, is to realize, that just like weight loss, making over your mindset take patience and time.
1. Acknowledge your core negative self beliefs. Simply coming to this realization is a HUGE step. Think of it this way: in AA, the first step is to admit that you are powerless over alcohol. Coming to the realization that you are actually sabotaging your own success is critical. You can’t make any kind of permanent changes until you acknowledge that something needs to change.
2. Ask yourself “why”. Why do I want to lose weight? Why is it so important? Is it simply to wear a smaller size? Is it because your son or daughter made some remark about your waistline and that hurt you deeply? Is it because diabetes runs in your family and you realize that you need to live a healthy lifestyle now in order to avoid all the complications associated with diabetes? What is your real answer to “why”?
After you answer the question of “why”, think about how you will feel when you finally are able to reach your goal. Emotions are a very strong motivator. Combining your “why” with this feeling of success is what you will need to remember whenever you start going off track, so write these down. It’s really important. You may even want to keep this with you so that you can look at it throughout the day, especially in the first few weeks and months. Visual reminders like these can be powerful.
3. Keep a journal. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy, but writing things down accomplishes 2 things:
First, it makes you really think about what positive change(s) you made that day and why you are grateful for making that change. And secondly it is a great way to reflect on your journey. After you’ve made numerous entries, go back and look at how far you’ve come. In your first week of doing this, perhaps there is an entry that you were grateful for being able to drink 1 Liter of plain water in a day. Then 6 months later, when you look back on that entry, you realize that drinking 1-2 Liters of plain water is now just a daily habit- something that you don’t even think about anymore.
A mindset makeover, just like weight loss is not easy. It’s a struggle. It is something that will take practice and time. But remember, you can do anything that you set your mind to.
Hugs 🙂